The Final Rose

Tear, Tear, Tear. It's time for Ashley to give away the final rose.

But first thing is first Men Tell All. All the boys who were eliminated came back to take a seat in the hot seat. Well everyone except for Bentley. No surprise. If he showed up they would have had a major security problem from all the ladies wanting to give him a piece of their mind. They talked about everything from first meeting Ashley, the comedy roast, Phantom of the Opera, Bentley and Ryan's reading material. The guys who came out of nowhere and were the highlights of the evening were Nick and Mickey. Where were they all season saying this stuff?

The final episode was one I may never forget. The first reason is because of Kat Von D's appearance. Well it wasn't actually her; it was Ashley's coupon clipping sister. I don't care if you think she was rude; in my opinion she was being honest about her concerns for JP. After that awkward conversation, smart Ashley leaves her date with the good ol' I will talk to you later. That's reassuring! Then she has to go back and talk to Chrystie, minutes before her date with Ben, to try to understand why she had that reaction towards JP. But let's face it; she went there to try to convince her to like him. That conversation still wasn't so hot because minutes later you see both of them separately going and crying to mom like a bunch of 4 year olds. Meanwhile Ben is showing up to meet the parents. His date goes along much smoother and everyone including Kat Von D likes him.

Their individual dates were so BORING! Complete yawn fest. Nothing really exciting to talk about. I am so tired of these typical dates once they get to the tropical location.

After both guys pick out their choice for a Neil Lane engagement ring, they go and have the pondering life coffee drinking, and taking a shower scene. How many times can we see this from both the guys and from Ashley? Hey producers, think of something else. This is getting predictable.

But now it all comes down to who is the first out of the limo or in this case sea plane. And not to my surprise it's Ben. I was singing the Hallelujah chorus. He is too good for her. She is too all over the place to me a really good match for him. But what really got me so upset was the fact that she let him get down on bended knee and propose. Hello!! You knew you were sending him home. Why would you let him go that far and pull out the ring? Why? I guess you just once again proved to be the most immature Bachelorette. I was appalled to say the least. When you see his genuine reaction once Ashley said no you immediately see his walls go up and he wants out. My heart broke when I heard him talk in the After the Rose about his long trip home to go to his best friend's wedding. So sad. Team Ben!

Ben leaves on his fishing boat as he sees JP's sea plane overhead. Classless move Bachelorette Producers! Once JP gets out of the plane we are back to the boring stuff. Yah, they are cute and all but they make me yawn. The only thing that is really exciting about them is their age difference.

Play the corny romance song and exit stage left.
I wish them a month of happiness.

Will you accept the fantasy date card?

Go from hometown dates of seeing your parents to being whisked away to Fiji and getting the (what we are all expecting) “Should you choose to forgo your individual rooms.” We all know that this was coming so it’s not like it’s a huge surprise. I guess the only thing that was a surprise was someone trying to win another shot. How original, someone trying to get more air time. Was I surprised that it was Ryan, the actor? NO!!! He comes back in his plaid shirt, tacky shorts with his hands behind his back looking like he is up to something.  The dude is crazy to the brain but then again that is the character he is trying to portray. But what I find hilarious is that he doesn’t want for her to answer now but later. Then due to priceless editing we see him hanging out in trees, and looking to god for answers while waiting for the time to pass by. Newsflash dude you said you wanted her to think about it. Did you think that she wasn’t going to go on the dates with the guys she choose to see if she still liked them before dealing with your crisis.

The first one on one date went to Ben.  They go snorkeling, and get to go on what Ben calls “a nice boat.” Queue the, “I’m on a boat" soundtrack! Things get a little to steamy and they start applying sunscreen like its massage oil. That’s when I immediately change the channel. I get it. You like each other. No need to show everyone. They get done with this part of the date and go to dinner. I think Ben may have taken his sister’s shirt to Fiji with him because a sheer V-neck is never flattering on a man. Bad Visual, even on him.

Constantine is the next up at bat. Annoying habit number 872 of Ashley, would be her claiming that she planned all these elaborate dates when in all reality she had nothing to do with planning them. Anyways, they go on a nice helicopter ride and go jumping through waterfalls. How poetic? Let’s not forget about that picnic and the awkward conversation that went with it. This girl obviously after dating 25 men at one time still has yet to figure out what she wants. Because then they continue the picnic conversation at dinner and she can’t stop talking about how much time they have but hopes they will get more in the fantasy suite. Constantine is getting ready to exit stage left at the thought of an overnight card and then “We now interrupt you for a special announcement” Now I understand our economy needs MAJOR help. But did you have to interrupt the most interesting part of the show Obama. Anyways, back to your regularly scheduled programming; Constantine bails fast.  Ashley tells him they don't have a lot of time...yet she's mad he didn't give their relationship time. Say what???

Constantine leaves making many wonder if Ryan was going to get a second chance. I knew otherwise. No way possible she would give him a chance; mostly by the way he reacted when she was at the door. She says that he was the hardest guy to say goodbye to and clearly she doesn’t remember her oh so memorable exit conversation with dot dot dot. I love how many times Ryan talks about how it will all happen. No matter how many times you say it, it doesn’t mean that it’s all going to happen like that. This isn’t the Wizard of Oz.

The last date of the week goes to JP. They had a great date of playing in the water and so on. Then you go to their dinner conversation and it just makes me wonder why does she always just tell JP what is going on. She told him about the dot dot dot situation. Now she is spilling the beans about Constantine, and Ryan coming back. It’s always JP that she has these conversations with.

Then with only 2 guys left she still has to have a rose ceremony.  The idea that it’s all about if they say yes is a bunch of horse hockey. No it’s not. You know it. They are going to say yes even if they don’t want to.

Next week is the lovely Men Tell All special. I have never been so excited for one in all my Bachelorette history. Why you may ask. Bentley will show his face. EPIC!!!!!!!!!!! I mean we have had bad boys on bachelorette. But they have never shown up on Men Tell All. So this will be a first.

Have the popcorn ready girls. It will be awesome!!!!!!

The most immature Bachelorette is...

Ashley Hebert

Barely 2 minutes into the episode and who knows how many times she said the word Bentley. I hope no one decided to play a drinking game to Bentley because you would have been done for before the first commercial break.

I saw the previews for this episode all weekend. I honestly couldn't wait to see what kind of crap dot, dot, dot would have come up with. And all he did was give a grammar lesson. Let's change the dot, dot, dot to a period. Are you kidding me? You fly half way across the world and that is the best you can come up with. No wonder I hate your guts. It was all I could do not to barf all over my TV when I saw his face. But I still don’t understand why you have to see him in and hear him speak to get closure. You could be able to get up and move on all on your own.  If you had a little confidence and maturity you wouldn’t need to see or hear him to get closure. I'm sorry but I will never feel sorry for her and what she had to go through. Call me heartless; I don't care. Anyone who has common sense would have let him stay in the limo or let him go week 1. PERIOD. She put herself in that situation and she knew what she was getting herself into.

After the most awkward conversation ever, you have the first date in Hong Kong with Lucas. I said it last week and I will say it again this week. Who is Lucas? I feel like the first time I ever saw him was last week when they started to “tee off.” Now this week, he gets a one on one. Huh? I would have rather her have had a one on one with Ryan, the actor, then have to see that again. I don't get what she sees in him, or why he is still around. It was another boring date.

Then you have the rowing date where they have to find their rowing mates. Cue Ryan stage left. This guy is such wannabe actor. He is so fake with everyone he meet. He gets the team and then he will do whatever it takes to win so he looks like the "big dog." I don't buy it. It seems like all he wants is a reality show. He is so ungenuine. That little smile, tongue out, jump up when she walks in with a rose was nothing short of nauseating if you ask me. The only thing good about that entire date was the fact that my Josh Groban twins were on a team together in those red robes. Adorable.

The last one on one went to everyone’s crush except me JP or shall I say Jordan Paul. (Love the full name) I was very glad that he got another one on one. I think they are good for each other. I didn't mind that she told him before she told the rest of the guys about dot, dot, dot. That speaks volumes that she felt comfortable enough to say that to him.

After what I felt like honestly was a night that didn't live up to the previews (yet again) the drama began. The fact that she has been secretly keeping all this Bentley drama mostly to herself means something. I have always wondered why she hasn't brought it up with them yet but I guess that is what she wanted. The guys handled it like expected except for Ryan. Everything that came out of his mouth was garbage. It just proves what I said earlier about him being fake. Kudos to Mickey for following his gut and leaving after their conversation together. I wish he didn't have to leave so I could see that pretty face again but that is what the Men tell all special is all about right? Hated to see Blake go but from what I hear on twitter it is not the last we will see of him either.

Until next rose ceremony....

Fight for a rose

Hearing that the Bachelorette and her suitors would be traveling to Thailand this week and seeing where they would be staying, I immediately started thinking of The King and I. All I could think of was the teacher lady with the big hoop skirt, cafeteria lady style hair including a hairnet, the million of wives and the bald man saying etc, etc, etc.

The first date card arrived and when the card said it was going to Ben F. I literally was screaming “NOOOOO.” He is too good for her. She is still naive and has no idea what she wants. If she did she would quit talking about “dot, dot, dot.” Ben is my favorite contestant to be on the Bachelorette. I thought it was Roberto but now that I see a Josh Groban 2.0 I say otherwise. Everything he says makes me go awww. I just now wonder if he sings. Ugh why does he have to be with her? Any girl under the sun would be better for him.

Just when I thought the roast group date was the worst date ever, I hear what they have to do tonight and start to think otherwise. Whoever comes up with these dates needs to be fired immediately. The entire idea of fighting is repulsive to me and now it’s supposed to make you fall in love? The best part of that entire date was how serious Ryan was taking it like it was an audition for the WWE. This guy will do anything for attention. He beat up on Ames and was all proud about it because he thought that meant he would get the rose. Newsflash, when the guy you beat leaves in an ambulance you probably won’t get the rose! Anyways, I was very glad to see Blake finally get some attention. I think that he is a great guy and deserved to be recognized with the rose, FINALLY. At one point during this date she had one on one time with a guy I have honestly never seen before. Who is Lucas and why is he still here?

The dreaded 2 on 1 date was tonight between William and Ben C. The idea of the 2 on 1 date is horrible yes but the idea of any date with William just sounds horrible to me. Ever since the roast date, he has gotten on my nerves. The little competitive banter between William and Ben was OK. I get it; you need to get her attention. But the idea that William had to throw Ben under the bus before the date even started is sickening. You did not need to say all that about him just so you can “win.” But what I can’t get over is Ashley ending Ben’s part of the date after their conversation. Stop trying to prove that you can handle this. He was here for the right reason. If you would open up your eyes you could see that. But you obviously put on your blinders. You can’t get over “dot, dot, dot.” You can’t stop mentioning his name. Now the idea of online dating is enough to send a guy home without even talking to him. Are you kidding me? Honey, you need a reality check real quick because you are not cut out for this if you send him home before even talking to him about it. Be a woman and confront him on it. 

The rose ceremony was just another rose ceremony. Another Chris Harrison conversation about “dot, dot, dot,” another week of giving roses to guys that I have no clue who they are (Lucas), and another week of Ryan trying to get his own reality show.

I have never been so excited to hear “Next week on the Bachelorette.” Just watching the previews for the return of “dot, dot, dot” made me sick. I cannot wait!

If I hear the word Bentley one more time...

How many times did Ashley say Bentley in tonight's episode? The answer: too many to count. Every time I heard any mention of the toolbox I was going to be sick. I understand the producers are asking her all the questions. I don't care. Her continuing to talk about him just continues to show me how naive she is. She mentions his name in every other sentence. Grow up and move on.

And they are off to Thailand. Seems like a great place to go. I wish I really could have seen it because all I saw was rain and I melt in rain. You would think that they would have checked weather.com for the forecast when they were planning to go because they could have avoided the monsoon.

The first date card arrives and it is one of my Josh Groban lookalikes Constantine. The elaborate date does not go as planned by the Renaissance Thailand concierge and they are on their own to explore. Constantine came out like a gem in his date. I love his low key attitude. "Cheers to not winning." WINNING!!!!!!

Last week the group date was about bashing others; this week it was all about helping and giving back. These dates are getting weirder and weirder by the week. I think that this was a great thing for them to do. I am just confused as to how this popped in their heads as they were planning dates. Like let’s do a comedy roast and then they can help rebuild an orphanage. I don't get it. That being said it was nice to be able to see everyone work together for a good cause. Now, I don't understand why everyone was complaining so much about Ryan during the date. Yes, the asking for alone time right before she hands out the rose was rude and disrespectful. No doubt. But I have to say that he was acting like his normal self when telling everyone what to do at the orphanage. Remember when he read off his resume to Ashley during the first episode, the 600 employees and all that. He was just doing what came naturally when he got there. The only reason he is on the show is to read off his resume, explain his company and what they do. He is always so happy because it's his character. He is acting. Now the best moment of that entire date was when Ben F. broke out the paint can started painting the mural. My heart melted.

The last one on one date went to Ames. Good choice but I was very surprised to see him get a rose. They had a boring date. The date was overall very monotone.

Ever sense last week Ashley just acts like she doesn't know up from down. She didn't come on this season knowing what she wanted. She seems to not even know who she is herself. I feel like after she got dumped by Brad Womack she immediately signed on this thing without honestly thinking if it was the right thing for her to do. If she knew herself and knew what kind of person she was looking for in a husband she would have not been under the spell known as Bentley and wouldn't have had to add a rose to tonight's rose ceremony.

That's all

The Bachelorette Roast

Week 3 of The Bachelorette included a mob, roast, "home" date, mask reveal and the exit of the century.

The first one on one date went to Ben C, who is a guy, any girl would love to date. So why did he have to get the dumbest date ever? Flash dance mob?! Come on! I get that Ashley likes to dance. I got that week one when she had her somber dance moment on the big stage before falling to the ground to ponder life. Week 2 dancing with the JabbaWockeeZ. Week 3 Flash Dance Mob. Get the picture. Not only was the dance idea stupid, the actual dance was a horrible Just Dance moment to tacky techno music.

Then before the "lucky" bachelors leave for the group date, "Phantom" has to make the big reveal. "Hi, I'm Jeff" Bhahaha! Oh and what was up with the squirrel and the hawk? I never laughed so hard!! Priceless editing!

The comedy roast was asking for trouble. How can you honestly think that a roast is really going to bring anyone closer to finding "love"? It won't. Especially if you have to roast the person you are trying to win over. They did a similar roast on Jake's season and they were fine because they were not roasting him personally, but the other girls in the house. Now that being said, did William take it too far by saying he wished it was Emily or Chantal? NO! They were doing a COMEDY ROAST. You cannot take anything too personally when you put yourself in that kind of situation. She knew deep down that they were all expecting it to be Emily; I understand that was why she was hurt by it. Yes, but you were asking for it when you sat in the roast chair.

Bentley, Bentley, Bentley. Never in my life have I despised a name more. He makes me want to have no faith that there are any good guys out there. The stuff that comes out of his mouth is disgusting. The stuff he tried to pull while trying "leaving” was disgusting. The kissy kissy neck talk, gag me. I was sick to my stomach watching his side interviews and then to see what he said to her acting like he is this great father who misses his innocent daughter. Disgusting.

But what I can't get over is the fact that Ashley "claimed" that Bentley was the "one" after never having a one on one date with him. How naive can you be? He comes in with a giant red warning label and you want to run off to Salt Lake to be with him and his daughter after just knowing him a week or two. Give me a break. The reason why she kept him around was so she could prove that she could handle a bad boy like Ali did with Justin last season. But instead of making him man up, she has to go a cry about it. No idiot who says those things about you is worth the tears. Grow up!

Go from her crying like the world was ending to JP coming to her door for his date. This is when I am ready to blow at the producers for not stepping in. She can barely get out of the bed and the producers honestly expect for her to have a date right after. Are you kidding me? I have to give JP a lot of credit though for handling everything the way he did. Great guy if I do say so myself. (Top 2 prediction)

Normally, Chris Harrison has the easiest job in the world. This is the final rose. Please take a moment and say your goodbyes. Ryan Seacrest has nothing on him. But last night he proved me wrong. Finally some voice of reason coming out of his mouth. Everything he said was nothing short of perfection. Dot, dot, dot being a guy thing to do and a real man would move heaven and earth. You tell her Chris Harrison. Give her that Reality Check! She sure did need it.

I can't wait to hear her explanation tonight on Kimmel. She has a lot of explaining to do.
Until the Return of Bentley.
(Yes, you read it right)