Are we watching the same show?

Dear America, 

Are we all watching the same show? You know the one with Brooke Burke- Charvet and Emmy winning (finally) TV host Tom Bergeron?

Did you see the same amazing dance created by Derek Hough that was worthy of an award? Did you see the disaster of a dance created by Paula Abdul? Did you see how she wore a pointless mic because she was lip syncing EVERY word?

Did you see how Brooke said that Melissa was sick and clearly Tony was the one who was injured? Did you see any of that? 

Did we watch the same dances Monday night? Did you thank your lucky stars that they didn't let the karaoke band play Michael Jackson songs for Michael Jackson night? 

Do you see how hard all of the dancers are working and look like they are trying really hard? Do you see how Kelly looks very tense when she dances and looks like she could snap in two at any moment? Do you roll your eyes when Val takes his shirt off FOR EVERY DANCE? Did you think it was highly inappropriate that Val broke out the speedo in the middle of fall almost winter? Do you think Val and Kelly are dating? Do you think they look like they could start a make out session at any second during their dance? 

That being said...

WHY THE HECK ISN'T EMMITT SMITH (or Sabrina Bryan) DANCING IN THE FINALS??!?!?!?! 

Congrats America. You have lost your mind.

Team Melissa for the win!

The fall must have gotten to Carrie Ann

Remember that glorious night when we saw a great dance and someone liked it so much they fell out of their chair? Then the next day they literally lost it on national TV?  I do. That happened to Carrie Ann almost 24 hours ago and it is obviously affecting her ability to judge effectively. 

I have never been so confused by judge's comments in my life. I thought Paula when on American Idol was bad but tonight was insane. It must be the fact that the judges are not used to judging on Tuesdays. Right? I mean it has to. 

• Melissa and Tony- 8: She injured her neck during group practice on Sunday night. Considering that I understand why she was very still in hold. But...and I say this with love Tony...it was confusing and had no flow. I don't get the hamster wheel and chemistry class set. Just because the song is Toxic doesn't mean you have to make the dance "toxic" to understand. I just didn't see it. 
• Shawn and Derek- 10: HOW? HOW ? HOW? Did Len and Carrie Ann not see what I saw during that dance? Did Carrie Ann hit her head a little too hard during that fall last night? That was breathtaking. The set. The fog. The costumes. Everything. I have never been so moved during a dance quite like that one. I was ready to pull a Teresa and flip a table or two after I heard what they said. I take back everything I have ever said about her and how I thought she shouldn't have been on all stars. They are the best. I just don't understand how they weren't paired together her first season.(Side note: I totally saw a pic of them on instagram and called the song that they were dancing to just after seeing their costumes. Just saying! Snaps for me!!!!)
• Apolo and Karina- 8: His original samba with Julianne was so much better and Apolo is too cute to be a pimp! That's all.
• Sabrina and Louis- 9: Didn't they look just so cute. Wear that to any Halloween costume contest and you will win in a heartbeat. I loved it. So cute. They lost a point for me because it wasn't very fluid. I just wanted it to be smooth like butter. While it was at times, the other times were a bit like rocky road ice cream. Enough of the food analogies. Someone get me chocolate! Stat

Team Freestyle: Gangnam Style (Kelly, Kristie, Emmitt, Gilles)

I have been looking forward to this dance ever since they announced the teams last week. Gangnam Style is basically the new theme song to my house ever since my mother heard it. Every time she heard it no matter where she was at, she wanted to let all us know that she heard it. Basically, we created a lovable Gangnam monster. So needless to say, everyone has been waiting patiently with our glasses and bow ties on to see Gilles Marini do Gangnam style. 

They nailed the first costumes with the glasses and wigs. I was so excited. Then they ripped the costumes off to reveal a hot mess of costumes to show where they are playing the song. (gym, club, sauna?) I was a fan of the suits more. I didn't get why they needed to rip off costumes in order to compete with the other team. They never ripped off their clothes to model the latest in club wear. So why did they feel that they needed to? The dance was not together at all. Top it all off when at the very end they messed up the original dance moves. If you are going to do the original famous dance then do the dance the correct way. 

END OF RANT.

I fell out of a chair....so Call me Maybe

I wonder who would be a better dancer, Romney or Obama? 

This week was this first week of 2 dances a week. Unfortunately, it was cut short to one hour because of this thing. I have never heard of it before but it's called an election/debate. Never heard of it. Wonder what it is all about? 

Pssssst who are we kidding. I can't wait until it is over. That way I can watch commercials in peace (insert sarcasm here).

We saw one team dance, and 4 individual dances...Guilty pleasure style. 

• Kelly and Val- 7.5: Her dance last week was good but not everything the judges thought it was. She is beautiful, but she can only do the sexy dances. To be honest, the only dance I liked of hers was the cha cha she did week 1. That paso was good but her shoulders are too stiff. This week was nothing different. Too much in the beginning (like Len said), horrible song UGH (no pun intended), and just didn't make sense. 
• Gilles and Peta- 10: And I...Will always love you I... Will always love you You...  Admit it. You totally belted out that song. The dance was so good women all over the world threw away their copies of 50 Shades of Grey and started watching Gilles' dance on repeat. It got to Carrie Ann so much she fell out of her seat just so Gilles would come to her side and rescue her. Doesn't she know that it only works like that in the movies? 
• Kristie and Maks- 7: Her best dance she has ever done is the cha cha to Forget You her original season. She looks horrible during all the rehearsal footage. That weave needs to go in the trash and be shredded forever and ever amen. Put on some makeup and look like a star.  
• Emmitt and Cheryl- 9.5: You are doing a dance to Barry Manilow's Copacabana and you are wearing that Cheryl?!?!? Did you not listen to the lyrics of the song? 

Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl

With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there

She would merengue and do the cha-cha

Does that not mean you should be wearing colorful feathers, ruffles, flowers, etc? I was    honestly so bothered by her wardrobe; I didn't really pay attention to Emmitt. At least he looked good and didn't mind looking like a red skittle. 

Team Freestyle: Call Me Maybe (Shawn, Melissa, Sabrina, Apolo)

Don't the men look hot in the football gear? I knew I always loved that sport. I would also like to thank the producer who decided to grace my ear buds by not having the singers sing Call Me Maybe. I am forever eternally grateful. 

The dance was awesome. They are the freestyle team to beat. Gangnam Style should be awesome, no doubt, but Call Me Maybe had the best team. All the pros on their team are some of the best choreographers on the planet. Derek, Louis, Tony and Karina are unstoppable (Derek Louis especially) when it comes to dances that leave you breathless wondering how the heck they did that. Judges took the words out of my mouth after their dance. But the main reason America should be proud is because Len broke out the 10 paddle. I know. He isn't supposed to break out that bad boy until next week.

Now, I am really excited for tomorrow night to see Gilles shake it like a sexy lady...Gangnam Style. 

Dancing with the Pros

The dancing is so much more than what you would think it could be. I honestly have been blown away every single week by a different couple. Last week, Derek and Shawn! Don't get me started on that brilliance. BEST DANCE I have ever seen. 

Week 4 and they try to throw in a little twist of picking dances for each other. Interesting twist but not enough of my twist to ruffle my feathers. Apparently it was enough to make many of the pros nervous. 

This season is honestly the season of the pros. The talent from the celebrities (minus Pain in my butt) is so good that they have to pull out as many tricks as they can think of to make them stand out to get the votes. 

• Kirstie and Maks 8-Cute but nothing to make me whip out my cell phone to vote. I miss Maks in the leggings wig combo.
• Bristol and Mark 7- Honest...They did...nope can't say it. Marks facial expressions made me want to be sick. How can they be better dancers than Kirstie and Maks? I don't get it. I know what DWTS is doing and it makes me sick. GO HOMEEEEEEEEEEEEE
• Sabrina and Louis 9- The girl has moves. That outfit and hair was a disaster but she can dance. I love her and am still holding a grudge about what happened her first season. She can't go home yet... she just can't.
• Emmitt and Cheryl 7.5- I understand how Cheryl may not have been able to really choreograph this dance considering she has never done it before. But did she really need 4 people to help her? NO. They said you could bring in an expert, not experts. Was the fog necessary? I couldn't see anything over that fog machine set on high. How could any of the judges honestly see their footwork with that thing stinking up the place. I love you Emmitt. I always will but not this week.
• Gilles and Peta 10- You can come and Bollywood for me anytime. Jai Ho! 
• Melissa and Tony 8.5- I love them. I don't care what you say, they make me happy. Last week she was fantastic. This week was good but considering I have just seen a jive from her 2 weeks ago, it wasn't as good as I thought it would be. 
• Shawn and Derek 10- Derek Hough deserves an Emmy for choreography after this season....too good for words. They should have been paired together in Season 8. 
• Apollo and Karina 8- Hip Hop. I thought they would have a better time with this considering his first freestyle. But the cards just were not in their corner. Mic pack fell, and they had a hard time with one lift. Karina is such a pro. She took all the responsibility for their mishap unlike someone (cough cough Mark. "We are not the only one to break hold"). 
• Kelly and Val 8.5- I was very surprised by this dance. I wasn't sure what to expect from her because we first watched her dance Season 1 but she is great. I loved the dance. Loved the song (minus the singers). Loved the chemistry. Quote me on this that they will be a couple by the end of their season. 

Paula Abdul was a fabulous guest judge. I missed her on the judging panel surprisingly. She was whitty and very honest in her comments. Loved having her on. I would be all for adding her on permanently. There I said it! 

VOTE VOTE VOTE. Another champ could go home because you are too lazy to leave Facebook. Well dear, you don't have that excuse anymore. You can vote through Facebook. SO DO IT...NOW!!